This blog represents my own views, experiences, trials and tribulations regarding male genital mutilation & foreskin restoration. I also hope this page serves as an educational source for people to make the correct decision for themselves and their children. What I would like most is to see a world where males are granted the same protection as females, where this madness in society called circumcision will cease forever.
That is my wish & hope for the future.
I can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org
My response to TLRI tells a lot about the trials and tribulations I am facing how. We are all Human, Let’s just make this world a better place.
*Before reproducing or quoting this article anywhere over the internet, permission must be sought from the me.
This letter represents my life story and fight against circumcision.
I really hope that the right choices will be made by TLRI, Government of Australia and subsequently Governments worldwide. If my letter can move the heart of only one more person to join the fight against male circumcision, then it was well worth it. I grant permission to TLRI and all other publications to publish; quote and refer to my response.
At age 4, my Father was concerned about my long foreskin. He had me circumcised for ‘health reasons’. My Father himself is intact. The doctor whom my father consulted with is also a Muslim and sold my Dad the flawed idea of a ‘circumcised penis being cleaner’. It is misrepresentation on the doctor’s part and my dad was foolish enough to believe him. In this modern era, it is easy to care for the intact penis with just normal soap and water. A rational and sane person would not cut off body parts just for ‘cleanliness’.
I remember that day I got circumcised. I was ‘lured’ to the hospital by my parents. Before the operation, I sat on the hospital bed clearly in distress and crying, a nurse gave me a sweet yellow mixture to suck on. It tasted like honey but I believe it was sedatives to make me unconscious. The next thing I knew, I woke up in an unfamiliar environment, feeling pain in my privates. I pulled down my pant strap, horrified. My penis looked different. There was something attached to my penis, there was dull aching. I was scared, how was a 4 year old child supposed to react other than to cry? It was my penis, not some other body part. It was my penis.
For the next few years, I was sold lies by my Father that it was ‘cleaner’ and because Muslims undergo circumcision that made it acceptable for me. I never really believed him. In my opinion, my Father was just trying to justify his decisions, even if they were wrong decisions. So many questions in my mind went unanswered. Why would I be born with a foreskin if it were not meant to be there? Furthermore, I am a free thinker, why should I let other races and religions influence how I live my life? Isn’t cutting off a normal body part extreme even for religious reasons? What if the boy (like me) did not have a choice and did not appreciate getting circumcised?
There was a point I when I knew something was definitely wrong with me, my penis. I was probably 7-8 years old at that time. Accompanied by my Mother, we were visiting an Asian doctor for a medical checkup.
Doctor: Have you undergone any operation before?
Mum: Shook her head.
Me: Circumcision! (Gleeful that I had answered his question)
Doctor: Circumcision??? His eyes and mouth were wide open, with his eyebrows lifted.
He was astonished, in a state of disbelief. It was very awkward. Nothing else was said about the topic that day. I will never forget his expression. It was not something which I had expected.
For me, this was the turning point where I found out something was ‘wrong’ with me, circumcision was definitely not ‘normal’.
For the next few years, I began researching the topic, using the internet as my main source of knowledge. I came across web pages which described the ‘lost list’, describing what was removed in a circumcision and structures which like the ridged band which cannot be replaced even with foreskin restoration. After I found out what was taken away from me due to circumcision, I began feeling very sad and lost interest in many of life’s daily activities. The mental anguish is indescribable; there is no means by which to quantify the state of metal trauma I have suffered because of circumcision. Growing up, I went to Asian schools where everyone I knew was intact. I had to constantly use stalls instead of urinals because I did not want people to see I was ‘different’. I was scared of public baths and showers because I was ‘different’. I had a physical defect.
I took up foreskin restoration around age 15 using a variety of methods. I started with cross-taping, which was providing effective only as a retainer and not a tension provider. I then moved on to T-taping which proved to be far from perfect because of the tape residue. I am currently using the DTR as my main restoration device, as well as O Rings and Ron Low’s invention the TLC Tugger.
The main reason why I am spending the time to restore my foreskin is because I want a normal looking and working penis. I do not want to hide in locker rooms anymore. Foreskin restoration has also made me feel that much more ‘whole’ and more confident, like a ‘real man’ without missing body parts. I have joined online support groupshttp://www.eskimo.com/~gburlin/restore/rest.html where there is a community of people like myself who were mutilated and want to restore their foreskins. I have also signed petitions http://montagunocircpetition.org/ which are against the ‘Torture and mutilation of Children’.
Even though my parents did not know better and at that time (1992) made what they believed to be the ‘right decision’, I still have not truly forgiven them, or the doctor who circumcised me. How can I? Where was the protection parents are supposed to give their children? It is my body, MY FORESKIN. My parents did not have the right to decide to have my foreskin cut off, nor did the doctor have the right to remove a completely natural human structure from my penis. Where was my say in this? How come I was not consulted with the decision to cut off the most erogenous part of my penis? It is insanity! I feel robbed. I am robbed. Even till today, I experience nightmares about the experience. I have for countless times, woken up in the middle of the night, perspiring, crying alone in bed. The worst part was that I did not have a say in any of this, and neither did I want to get circumcised in the first place. It was not my choice.
I have recently confronted my parents and told them of how I feel. My Dad has apologized which has since given me some closure.
- The decision of whether to circumcise or not must rest on the patient’s shoulders and not his parents. Parents have no jurisdiction over their children’s bodies.
- The patient must be at least 18 years old before they can decide to get circumcised. This ensures that they can make a rational decision.
- There must be no exceptions, even for religion. A child must have the sole rights over his body.
- In the unfortunate event that an illegal circumcision is still carried out, the patient must have the rights to his hospital records so he can pursue legal action in the future against the doctor if he wants to.
- In the unfortunate event that an illegal circumcision is still carried out, the doctor should be punished. Monetary punishment is not enough. Doctors should be stripped of their license or given a ban to practice medicine for 1 year.
- Before every circumcision request, the patient/parents must understand the procedure and what is lost in the process of circumcision. They should watch videos on how a circumcision is performed so they know the anguish that they/their child will go through.
- If a circumcision needs to be carried out for ‘medical reasons’, a foreskin friendly doctor must first be consulted regarding about any other treatment methods other than circumcision. The patient must be briefed and must fully understand what he is undergoing, what damage circumcision causes. A therapeutic circumcision must be the last resort to any treatment for ailments such as phimosis.
I hope that you give my proposals some thought, especially the one about raising the age limit. I really believe and hope that the TLRI and Government of Australia can get this decision right. I am looking forward to the day where males are granted equal protection as females and circumcision of all kinds is finally outlawed.